And just like that, it’s February! Now that the excitement of resolutions has come to settle, I can truly reflect on some things. Like how terrible I am at crafts and why you shouldn’t let me anywhere near scissors. Read on for more!
Here is the thing about me: Sometimes I jump right into projects or go all in, particularly when it comes to something I think I’ll really like or will make my life easier. So when bullet journaling came along, I boarded that train real quick. Many thanks to this blogger——->How to Bullet Journal: The Absolute, Ultimate Guide. (And shoutout to you by the way!! You rock and I often wish I could stick to such methods of organization.) I suggest you check it out but the main point is you’re basically creating a journal/to-do list/planner. You customize it to feel however you want. People use it to track goals and tidbits they wish to remember. You might cross off an item once completed or use your own legend for what each one means. It’s pretty neat. I was so excited and picked out a journal from Ross, only to find out about three months in, after decorating my journal and building up all this momentum, that the journal slowly began collecting dust on my bookshelf. The journal and I would often get into staring competitions. (Spoiler: I usually won because said journal is not filled with magic, like I so often yearn for in many parts of my life.) And as I stared and wondered why I could never grasp that beauteous component of life that many others seemed to make look so easy, it dawned on me. That woman isn’t me.
You won’t find me up late in the evening creating cookies straight out of a Christmas movie, complete with elves, reindeer and Mrs. Clause. I can’t make presents look Pinterest-perfect for the life of me. Cutting straight edges on paper literally terrifies me. I’m not very good at color coordinating. I know absolutely nothing about knitting. I may try to tackle too many projects at once. My handwriting isn’t amazing and sometimes it’s crooked. I buy pretty pens and lose them not long afterwards. I have to make lists because I’m forgetful and excel at procrastination. My craft box mostly became a storage space for mementos and Christmas cards that were never sent. All of this to say that doesn’t mean I won’t create. I love making things from the heart, especially in the form of words. Writing is my happy space and fun poems make me feel like a kid. I’ve made a few things in the day. Oh, and I guess the point of this was that when I attempted to bullet journal….I began to hate bullet journaling. Which seems rather silly.
You know where you will find me? Probably reading. Maybe wandering around a bookstore, hoping there is enough time in this life to read everything on my list. Or having a glass of wine with friends. I even make wine on occassion. And now that I am finally beginning to find my mojo again, after bouts of anxiety and health issues are slowly coming to (hopefully) somewhat of an end, you can find me writing. And making my blog better. Coming up with 1,001 ideas of how I want to shape my future and making them a reality. After reading Year of Yes (please read this as soon as you can, you must) by Shonda Rhimes, I am all kinds of fired up. She said something I am making part of my magical 2018. “Ditch the dream. Be a doer, not a dreamer.”
In this time period, I realized I wanted to say yes only to that which brought me joy. Crafting is very much not on that list. So in that knowledge, bullet journaling fell into the realm of “What I’m Not Good At.” I have a hard enough time remembering to write in my planner. But at least in that area of my life, it doesn’t feel forced. I bought a super cute one (again from Ross!) for $10 and fill it with what I need (or hope) to accomplish. It’s straightforward and it’s me, no frills. (Pictured below: Then and now.)
It takes all kinds friends. Some of us can do the Pinterest and the crafting. I envy you. Seriously, coming to terms with being this woman when you are surrounded by many crafty types was not an easy task. From the sister who makes gifts look #flawless and has created some stellar wreaths to my co-worker who bakes like no other. To my graphic design friends with magnificent handwriting and artsy abilities I could only dream of. To those I know with kids who make their homes and lives look like something straight off of HGTV. You are all creative goddesses and I love each one of you.
But here, in this knowledge of who I am, I have found contentment. I do not discount what I bring to the table. I shine in my elements of positivity and togetherness. Of seeking the good and knowing people are capable of change. Of quietly observing but speaking up when I need to. And finally, of knowing my words hold weight. That from one of the very first stories I made in the second grade about a kitten’s magical journey (honest to goodness truth) to where I am at today, I’m not finished. That writing is my own personal crafting party and that is enough. I may not have created the masterpiece I’m striving for just yet but I have also not stopped working towards it. Do YOUR thing and know that’s enough. If crafts make you cringe, don’t shy away from it. In fact, we could probably be friends.