Throughout this blog you will hear me talking quite a bit about meditation, yoga, spirituality or a combination of all three. All of these elements have had a profound influence on my life in one way or another. Meditation has been my biggest struggle as it is something that I have trouble sticking to. I find I turn to it when I am experiencing immense grief, struggling internally or facing a big decision. I don’t like to say that prayer doesn’t work for me but maybe I just haven’t found that connection yet that I have found in meditation. I still practice both.
I recently participated in Oprah & Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Experience (amazing!) and had participated in a 30-Day Mediation Challenge with Faith Hunter right before that. The challenges keep me on task in the hopes that after completing them I will be able to practice consistently on my own. Much like with yoga or anything else involving practice, meditation is about devoting time and patience to the process. This can be difficult because meditation often involves sitting in silence and just allowing whatever happens to happen. The biggest struggle many people face is quieting the mind. I will admit that is a challenge I still face in my meditation practice and I know it will be awhile until I can overcome that.
I will have more posts on meditation but this post in particular is about that moment in meditation when….maybe you know the one I mean. The one where everything suddenly fits together. Where you have gone so deep that it actually brings you to tears. Where you know nothing else matters except for this moment right here, right now. You feel as if you are one with time, space, nature and the universe. It is almost impossible to describe these moments but you are filled with an overwhelming sense of euphoria and gratefulness. Since beginning meditation, which has been on and off for about 2 years, I have had probably 3 or 4 of these moments. They do not happen often but when they do you will definitely know.
I experienced one the other morning while I was meditating. You see, I lost my step-mom to cancer about a month ago. The healing process during all of this has been just that, a process. It does not happen overnight. There is no magic answer or road map for dealing with this. It just is. You have to find your own way and move through the feelings, which can often be difficult because our society often tells us the complete opposite. We need to tuck them back inside, get back to work and move on with our lives. I firmly believe we are not given the appropriate amount of time to grieve and death is viewed very differently here than in other cultures. I recommend reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying for more on this.
Anyway, more about this moment. This particular meditation was on “finding success without judging others or myself.” It was very powerful stuff, part of the 21-Day Meditation I was referring to. So, there I was in my meditation when I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. And the craziest thing is, I could feel my step-mom there. I know that might sound ridiculous to some of you but I felt it. She or her spirit or whatever were letting me know it was ok, that she was ok and right there with me. I had always been a little unsure when I heard stories of those things happening to other people but have kept an open mind so I wasn’t necessarily a disbeliever. I had just never experienced it before, until now.
That is my meditation story and like I said I will be sharing more down the road. Feel free to comment on similar experiences you’ve had with meditation or anything I talked about.
Happy Friday friends.