Between a week without power and a trip to Seattle, I will honestly admit that I fell a bit behind. But, we are back and at it again! Hope you all had the loveliest of Thanksgivings.
I was watching the sun set over an outlook here in Spokane. It was breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t too long after my stepmom had passed away and I remember thinking how much this sucks, how much this hurts and how I felt the pain would never go away. The tears kept pouring out and then, in the middle of it all, there was stillness. Something had made me notice my surroundings. An inner voice, a thought, something bigger, call it what you will. But, I remember seeing a bird fly through the sky and I just knew then, it was going to be ok, eventually. This storm would pass and though she would never be forgotten, we would find a way to cope with her gone. It occurred to me in this moment that everything starts over. I used to find that notion incredibly sad. That holding onto something was the only way to appreciate it. But, that isn’t where the beauty lies because true essence lives on after it’s gone. We have the power to cultivate the love and goodness that those closest to us leave behind.
Maybe I never believed it or maybe I never felt it. Perhaps the loss of somebody so close to me has shifted my perspective on life and the role we play here. I can’t really say what caused the change. I do know that I felt an immense peace in this moment. I can count on one hand the number of times I have had these feelings. They are rare and fleeting but each encounter has taught me a valuable lesson in life.
When I say everything starts over, I mean that we are part of the larger cycle of life. Nature keeps on going, no matter what. It finds a way to flourish and thrive. Trees, plants, animals, it’s all around us. They start as these little seedlings with absolutely no idea of what a magnificent being they will become one day! (If trees could talk I mean, that is definitely what they would be thinking.) But isn’t that us too? Don’t we start out in this world, stumbling and learning as we go? We don’t know what we will become but then we wake up one day and bam! we’ve done all this amazing stuff in our lives. All the sudden we are this majestic evergreen and we are gonna show these little evergreens how it’s done.
I’ve digressed, but only a little bit. My point is, it used to make me uncomfortable and now, now I can appreciate it so much more. Our time here. What we’ve been given. All of it. Because I know it’s temporary and always changing, I can take the moment for what it is. Good or bad. It doesn’t last. And that is not meant in a pessimistic way at all. (If you’ve been following me, you know I’m quite the opposite.) Instead, it is meant matter of factly and also just in pure amazement of it all. When I begin to get too comfortable and think I can’t be surprised anymore, the Universe up and astounds me, reminding me that a comfort zone will never shape me into the magnificent and wonderful person I am on my way to becoming.