Hi friends!! It has been a crazy and hectic week of travel adventures (and unfortunately some headaches!). However, I’m settled back home in beautiful, snowy Washington and loving it. Even if it is freezing! Being away made me appreciate home so much more. Looking forward to sharing travel experiences in an upcoming post or two! Wishing you all a beautiful and bright 2016. -Heather
One of the nights while I was on vacation, I had a dream about my ex. I realize the holidays can make it difficult to sort out those feelings of the finality of a relationship so I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret it. It wasn’t even anything worth discussing but the image of him in my mind had startled me. It sounds silly and trivial but I immediately went into my place of overthinking. I do that sometimes.
Later on in the afternoon, I asked my friend to make sure his family was alright because they’re from Texas and a bunch of tornadoes had touched down there. I was actually quite proud of myself for not initiating the contact. That evening, I gave some advice to a different friend who had been having dreams about her ex as well. She was just wanting to get some good sleep and put it all to rest. (No pun intended…I think.) One of the comments one of her friends had left really clicked with me. She said she used to have dreams like that and she felt it was her brain’s way of letting go and working things out. Whoa. Awesome sauce. Gold gem. Bookmark it.
Here’s the thing: The world around us is so set on telling us to move on after a breakup and while I absolutely believe in setting boundaries during this time, we tend to forget that the ending of a relationship also requires a grieving process. And a serious one at that.
Every shiny and wonderful moment you thought you had coming in your relationship was suddenly destroyed. Poof. Maybe it was a quick break-up or perhaps it was drawn out. It might have even been mutual. Either way, it really fricken’ hurt. And you know what? You have every right to feel everything associated with that. Nobody should tell you otherwise. You want to drink wine and watch Netflix with your BFF? You go right ahead. You want to start playing the field again? Go for it. You need to get in your car and drive across the country for clarity? Hey, you do you. No matter what you decide or how you mend your heart, just remind yourself that it will eventually be whole again. It won’t feel like it, honestly, for a long time. But when it does? That’s the beautiful part of it. The magic after the mess.
Find peace in your own time and in your own way. Don’t feel you need to go it alone or justify your decisions. Of course, take care of yourself and keep those positive reminders and people around. You are a magical, magnificent person capable of spilling that love onto someone else when the time is right. Trust me, you’ll know when that time is.
I could physically feel my heart get lighter that day while I was away. I’m aware that sounds rather ridiculous but I don’t really care. The pain of my last relationship didn’t envelop me anymore and I felt my heart making room for more love. Let it happen. Let it go. Breathe. Trust me friends, making peace with your past will only bring you one step closer to happiness in your present.